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Have Satellite Truck, Will Travel.
If I wasn't doing this, I'd be a pirate!
May 21st - Judgment Day!

Breaux Bridge, LA - It has come to my attention that a small group of Christians are suggesting that Judgment Day, also known as the Rapture, will occur this Saturday, May 21, 2011.

As I will not be among those being carried away to eternal bliss at the Lord's right hand (Way too many acts of television to be forgiven at this point) I would like to make this offer. I will be happy to take your real estate, appliances, collectables, valuables, etc and dispose of them for you. Feel free to reply here so the necessary paper work can be completed before Saturday.

Oh, yeah, no driving on Saturday. Can't have that car suddenly driverless while speeding down the highway.

Louis Armstrong playing trumpet on the Judgment Day.
- Al Stewart

Tags: , ,
Current Location: Waffle House
Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Some nameless CW jukebox tune

3 comments or Leave a comment
thekellyfox From: thekellyfox Date: May 19th, 2011 02:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Let 'em go to their eternal Jesus-fans-only club in the sky. I don't have or want a membership, thanks. I'll roast comfortably in the sinner's sauna below.

...but it'll be hilarious when they find that Jesus totally stood them up once again. Maybe they'll start to realize they're listening to the voice of their own insanity. ...Or maybe they'll just conveniently reschedule. Again.
bloggerbytrade From: bloggerbytrade Date: May 20th, 2011 12:57 am (UTC) (Link)
What, a scam? No! I wanted to loot me some mega-valuable birthday presents!
uplinktruck From: uplinktruck Date: May 20th, 2011 01:38 pm (UTC) (Link)
There has to be some cosmic significance to the fact that your birthday and The Judgment Day(tm) are coincidental.
3 comments or Leave a comment